Basic three steps to every zombie dance and  a classic zombie remake photo.

It doesn’t take long for the hilarity of Fido’s central idea to kick in: the world is reeling from the Zombie War, and the undead are being contained in two different ways. Some of them are roaming loose in fenced-off wilderness zones. The rest are, thanks to the good people at the ZomCom corporation, docile and domesticated–indeed, available as house servants for the upwardly-mobile. Such is the case with the Robinson family, a suburban clan who seem to have stepped straight out of an old episode of Lassie. Little Timmy is happy about the new manservant, whom he promptly dubs “Fido,” and Fido himself is fine as long as the mechanical collar around his neck doesn’t malfunction (in which case he will revert to being a cannibalistic brain-eating zombie). Fido is played, in a stroke of inspiration, by the Scots comedian Billy Connolly, although you wouldn’t be able to recognize him without already knowing he’s in the movie. Dylan Baker and especially Carrie-Anne Moss are just right as Timmy’s parents, who have accidentally wandered out of a John Cheever novel and into a George Romero world. Director Andrew Currie skillfully gets the 1950s satire and the zombie action right, although there’s no way to disguise that this premise is too thin to spread out over feature length. For a while, though, Fido hits a stride–a staggering, vacant-eyed stride.

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The dead walk! Newspapers everywhere proclaim the dead have returned to feast on the living. A small group of survivors hold up in a cellar, afraid to brave the masses of animated corpses, but when food runs out, they have no choice but to venture out into a world gone mad. What they will discover, however, is that the fall of civilization has brought out the worst in their fellow man. Cannibals, psychotic preachers and rapists are just some of the atrocities they must face. In a world turned upside down, it is life that has hit a Dead End.

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Zombie Nightmare is a 1986 zombie movie directed by Jack Bravman and filmed in the suburbs of Montreal, Canada starring Jon Mikl Thor. The plot, in brief: A musclebound teenage baseball player gets run over by a car driven by a bunch of teenagers. The boy’s mother contacts one of her neighbors, a voodoo priestess, who resurrects the lad as a zombie. The zombie goes on a killing spree, hunting down and killing the teenagers responsible for his own death.

Not only does Thor play the part of the zombie, he wrote much of the incidental music, with some heavy metal riffs played by his band, and some synthesizer music played by “Thorkestra.” Several other heavy metal bands contribute to the soundtrack, led by Motörhead with their hit “Ace of Spades” playing during the opening credits. Other bands heard in the soundtrack include Virgin Steele, Girlschool, Fist, and Death Mask.

Adam West plays the local police captain; Tia Carrere makes her feature film debut here as one of the teenagers. Shawn Levy also played one of the teenagers.

The movie was also featured in an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Soundtrack

• Girlschool – “Future Flash”
• Girlschool – “C’mon Let’s Go”
• Motörhead – “Ace of Spades”
• Fist – “Danger Zone”
• Virgin Steele – “We Rule the Night”
• Thor – “Rebirth”
• Death Mask – “I’m Dangerous”
• Battalion – “Out for the Kill”
• Pantera – “Midnite Man”
• Knighthawk – “Zombie Life”
• The Things – “Dead Things”

Get yourself a snappy title and a couple of marquee names (however disreputable) and you might just snag your no-budget movie a national release–as Zombie Strippers colorfully proves. The names in question belong to porn star Jenna Jameson and Freddie Krueger himself, Robert Englund, both of whom look quite comfortable in this sleazy milieu. As the title suggests (well, “suggests” might be a mild word), there has been an outbreak of the undead in a strip club, with strippers actually improving their onstage antics after they’ve become zombies. (Given the number of implants on display, it’s a wonder the zombies didn’t keel over from silicone poisoning.) Englund is the proprietor of the place, Jameson is a star dancer, and a couple of actresses in the “nice girl” roles don’t have to take their tops off, although almost everybody else does. Writer-director Jay Lee fills the movie with political gags and a bunch of philosophy references (Jameson reads Nietzsche, the locale is Sartre, Nebraska), all of which play like a lame attempt to distinguish his movie as something other than a puerile horror-comedy. Only thing is, when you try to disguise the fact that you’ve made a puerile horror-comedy, it kind of takes the oomph out of both the horror and the comedy. The political jibes are about as feeble as those in Southland Tales, but at least Zombie Strippers is shorter. Shot on video, it looks atrocious, but perhaps that doesn’t matter very much.

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